Re-coordinate

Currently I am facing problems with: Should I run for that position, main committee of school club? Should I take this position? Which society I would like to work in and which can give me a better atmosphere of working with others? Which I will really happy when I work in that society?

To be or not to be, that is the problem that matters.
Not that I'm not capable, not that I'm not confident, not that I don't have support from others, is that I just feel like escaping from the busy life all the way, and yet, focus on what I should really focus on, my studies, knowledge, future.
I have been escaping from the real knowledge which I should have for too long, and now, is time for me to really study and really do a deep research on what I'm studying now.

But there is one reality that I have to face, without joining ECA(extracurricular activities), I will not getting any points for staying inside NTU in the coming year of study.

Sometimes I'm asking myself, is it I was joining too much of activities since secondary school and taking a lot of leadership experiences no matter in what position until an extent that I lost all the passion in leading, organizing and managing?

Somehow, I just cant find the reason why I need to do all those stuff. Perhaps that I used to be president or chair for an organization, I find nothing that I can learn from committing myself just to do one small event or spare out much time on long meeting just to wait until my turn to speak out my part and wait until the last one to finish so that we can finally dismiss.

The reason, the motive, the driving force, where are they?
Is that an excuse for my feeling of escape?

The uni I am studying right now, is a University that many people wish to pursue their studies in perhaps. At the very beginning, I never intend to take up the opportunity to get my degree from this country. It was you, my parents and many of my friends who were not being offered that drove me to start my journey here.
I always have more opportunities and more luckier than others, ain't?

But opportunities are not always there, if you miss out a second to grab it, you may lost it forever.
For this meantime, I am actually trying to recoordinate myself. I know I am lost. This is a life process which everyone has to go through. Just a simple recoordination will do, and it take some time.

Is time to change my mind and re-coordinate myself.