下下签

我说我不信算命
也不会去算命
玄学，在一个科学的角度能代表多少？

到天后宫参观
朋友们都求了签
也去凑凑热闹

握着手上的签
心想着要求的签
我求的签很简单很直接
也只有那么一样
想知道签会出现什么结果

把手放开
签落下，就那么地巧，只有一支签是特别突出
那是签的答案

是支下下签


我不相信寓言，不相信命理
但一向来的都发生的很灵验

这一次也会一样
想要证明
命运是掌握在自己手中

第一学期考

大学生涯第一次大考成绩终于出炉
旅行途中，
上网查寻自己的成绩

当最坏的打算已做足
点击进入查询成绩的链接
在马来西亚进入一个网页时会有的较长缓冲时间，

等着介面跳出
心想着
我是否能接受那最坏的打算
以3字头或以下的成绩迎接大学的第一个学期考？

如果发生，
我需要用多少次的学期考把成绩拉回4字头
回想着我这学期过着的大学生活，
也还记得自己对下学期的承诺

成绩跳出
出得有点意外
再次再次地刷新网页
深怕自己看错

网页上写着的是自己的名字，学号
再次了再次
没错，那是我的成绩

呆了，当然，也蛮开心

第一个学期以总积分4.43/5.0划下句点。
离一等荣誉只有0.07的差距。

我知道，这是侥幸
也告诉自己，
下学期，我会做得更好

当知道自己有能力去达到一件事
就更须去达到，去完成
只有这样，人生才不留遗憾

释放

||
人与人之间啊，真不该如此脆弱。 
但情人与情人之间，却常常需要断裂得无比彻底才能释放彼此。 
||

 《等一个人咖啡》第五章

 “释放彼此” 好一个字眼
 真的释放彼此了吗？

至少，
当藕断丝连、纠缠不清的感情有了个了断
彼此都少了个烦恼，更自在的活着属于自己的生活
想着彼此都能活得很好
也就能开心的过着每一天
这就是所谓的释放吧

 而几年后会发生的两种情竟 

像是来自《初恋这件小事》的结局
八九年后，当爱着那男生的女生再度遇上男生
问道：“你……结婚了吗？” 
男生：“其实我……一直在等着那个人从美国回来。”　 

或像是《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》的结局
背景播着《那些年》这曲
那一天
男孩回忆着那些年女孩青涩的脸
翻起卓垫下的老照片
无数回忆连结
呆呆地站在镜子前
笨拙系上红色领带的结
将头发梳成大人模样
穿上一身帅气西装
今天男孩要赴女孩最后的约  

然而任何一种情景发生
在那场合，当彼此看见对方
都会欣慰地微笑着
至少那些年
因为彼此的出现
大家都成长了

爱的积极意义

||
但我想过了

学长就像我生命中的灵感

他让我了解爱的积极意义

他就像是让我一直前进的动力

让我有今天的成就

||

摘自《初恋这件小事》


爱。
真的有这种力量。

有了少许前进的动力
恋爱不是件小事

老板娘特调

||
 “你煮的咖啡太好喝啦，万一我以后喝不到这么好喝的咖啡该怎么办？”

我学着周星驰电影”食神”里的经典对白。

 “如果真有那么一天，教你一个办法。”

他正经八百地却又说着搞笑的内容：”你就开一间咖啡店，整天瞎煮一堆乱七八糟的咖啡，取名叫老板娘特调，然后每次煮的内容都不一样，唯一相同的地方，大概就是难喝的要死吧？接着规定这种烂咖啡每日只供应两杯，一杯给自己、一杯得请老板娘，如果点了老板娘特调的话，就可以跟世界第一美女聊聊、聊一杯咖啡的时间。” 

“好无聊喔，这样有谁会点这种咖啡？岂不是砸了自己的店招牌！”我大笑。 

“一点都不无聊。如果有一个人，每天风雨无阻，就算走路碰上下雪、就算开车遇到龙卷风、就算大地震将他前面的路裂成好几条缝，他都会克服万难，敲敲你的门，一脸腼腆地向你说：老板娘特调，两份。”

 他越说越认真，认真到，我的鼻子都酸了起来。 

“那么，他就是你的下一任真命天子，当你遇见这样的一个人，你千万要珍惜他、别让他轻易溜走，因为这样的人，是带着我托付的使命，带着我的眷恋。”

 他笑了。 ||

 摘自《第一个人咖啡》第4章

没别的

淡淡巧克力色
柔和的音乐

钟爱这个背景
可能，让我觉得有咖啡馆的味道吧

这张照片是随意在南大的其中一间宿舍拍的
没有人会注意到的一个角落，不，是屋顶。

除了酒精，咖啡因是另一样让我上瘾的东西
喜欢咖啡，也习惯了天天一杯咖啡

咖啡馆给人的，是舒适的感觉
让人沉思的环境

时不时，到间咖啡馆，来杯香浓的咖啡
何尝不是种享受


文字，架构，就如我的思绪一样---乱。
可能是酒精作祟

咖啡的瘾，是家庭的“传承”。我家喝的饮料，没别的，就是咖啡。
酒精的瘾，今年才患上。原因？问和我一样患上酒瘾的人吧
今年前，我还是思想古板，坚持烟酒不沾得好好男人。

混杂的文字架构，连我都写不下去

没别的，假期了，顿时一阵空虚。
这假期有两个营，想趁其余的时间会一会我来自东南西北，许久未见的好友。

勾了勾手，答应了会一起去旅行。那时的我答应得有所顾忌，还好，还好。
但原计划目的地的主人翁，似乎不得空，可能还个地点，也可能胎死腹中。

没别的，假期了，夜晚没人烦了
只是不习惯夜晚突然的寂静。

试金石

刚过了在南大的第一个大考--数学
剩下三科，还有两天要熬。

这个学期的成绩，可想而知。
3个月的lectures,我skip了两个月。
参加太多的活动，身兼太多的职位
大大小小的活动，，会议，聚会，旅行，都会有我的身影。
花在活动上时间远远超过课业

从前，从学长口中听到的大学生活: “大学，尽量享受生活；成绩，及格就好！”
亲身经历了，才发觉，事实并不是如此。
可能是因为我身在南大，身在新加坡。

就当这第一个学期当作对大学生活的试金石吧！
从中找到真正的适应方法，让大学生活火得更色彩！

曾经一位学长告诉我
“Uni is a place for u to fail dont worry=) because next stage after uni is work and market. u cant fail and make mistakes anymore. so in Uni, is a testing ground for u to fail as much as u can, learn from it as much as u can, so u dont fail in the real work market ”


“及格就好”这句话无法用在新加坡求学的我。
在竞争强大的地方，你更不能失去你的竞争力。
当别人有能力拿到二等荣誉，或是一等荣誉的成绩，别人能做到，为什么你不能？
虽然这是新加坡，但还是有许多马来西亚人能做到，你找不到任何借口说新加坡太竞争，拿不到。

在南大以致少二等荣誉毕业，这是我对我自己的承诺。
第一个学期就当作试金石。
下个学期，
我会再回来。

三分之一的人生

挥别二十，步入二十一

也意味着完成了三分之一的人生。

 现时，平均年领也只不过六十余岁

好命些，二十，只是你四分之一的人生

三分之一的人生，对你，意味着什么

第一个三分之一的人生，靠父母，靠家人，考师长，只知道自己要读好书，学做人，凡事不必担心。天塌下来有他们挡。世界大乱也还可以很安心的睡，因为有他们，什么都可以不必担心。犯错，闯祸，做任何事都可以不必为他人着想。父母，家人都不会责怪，因为他们都知道，你，还没长大。这三分之一的人生结束前，你还可以继续的任性，继续的浪费时间，继续的依靠父母，继续的做家中的少爷、做公主。生活可以不必有目标，因为有他们撑着。

第二个三分之一的人生，世界会很不同。你会经历人生最难适应的过程—成长。你不能再继续地依赖父母，家人，师长。你不能再做家中的大少爷，大小姐、你不能再任性、你不能在吊儿郎当、你生活不能再没有目标，没有计划。你做的任何决定，不能只想到自己。你须为你的每一个决定负责，因为你做的决定，不再只是影响你一人。米奇。奥尔本的《在天堂遇见的五个人》书中，很清楚的描述着人是如何互相联系；而一个人决定、作为，是如何影响周遭人的一生。

第二个三分之一的人生，你不只要为你自己的人生做计划，你也要想你的计划会为父母、家人、或是周遭朋友的生活带来什么样的改变。这个过程，叫做成长。

正步入这三分之一人生的转换点，感触良多。

两个月后正式步入人生的第二个阶段，结束了三分之一的人生。

而我知道，那将会很不同。生命中理性的部分，必须多过感性。

我需对我的生命负责，我的每一个抉择更需对周遭旁人负责。

计划，那是成长的第一步；

而抉择，那是成长的必经过程，也足以改变一个人的一生。

Yes, keep the momentum.

Most of my friends had asked tutor regarding their CA result through email.

Out of "curiosity", hoping to know that how I was doing in the quiz, I sent an email to my tutor asking about my physics CA result too.

 "Teck Siang - You've been doing excellent in the quiz. Keep up the momentum to your Finals." 

 feel great with his reply. What an encouraging reply from ur professor!

 There are 2 CA’s and 1 speech on next Monday. I haven’t prepare for it.

 Econs—my worst subject among all. SU it or use the remaining 3 weeks to conquer it ??

 Computing—the subject which I am most interested in in this sem. But, still haven’t catch up the syllabus I missed.

 Effective communication—I need to give a speech on Monday. The title of my speech would be ”Why NTU students need to own ipad”. Yet, haven’t start working on it. I think I will spend whole weekend to prepare it. It occupies 35% of total grade.

 Yes, keep the momentum.

STRESS!

I have Social life and it is too much until it almost covers all my time.
I choose to have Enough sleep, by skipping lectures. the time i wake up everyday,is the time the lectures end everyday.

I have two,
Now Only Left GOOD GRADES!

who say we can only choose two? i want to choose THREE of them!

but i am too far leaving behind as a result of skipping too many classesssssssss.

Final is coming, not more than one month from now!
But I still want to prove it, WE CAN CHOOSE THREE!

STRESS AH!!!!

I'M BACK !

I'M BACK!

Don't feel annoyed when seeing my annoying background photo!
HA!

Keep it on.

Life is getting busier and tougher.

CAs and assignments in this few weeks,

Final exam in around one month.

I can't fall for this sem.

Stress and responsibility are getting heavier.

Too many portfolios I'm holding.

MSA hall mag

Msa freshmen orientation camp2012 chief programmer

Fast Forward (lalapaloza) programmer 

Rotaract Professional Development sub comm

MAE school club Publication Sub committee

PGY selection camp vice head

YCA facilitator and assistant

and for coming Saturday Malaysian's gathering night-performance director

wow, 

i wonder I'm here to study or to join activities?

i wonder can i really maintain my academic results?

It is hard for me to catch up the syllabus dy after skipping so many classes.

But anyway, the most important this is,

at least, i m doing the thg i love,

as Steve Job's quote.

Keep it on.

担心

终于，今日，你人生的第三个里程碑开始了
这十月来的煎熬，总算到达一个顿点。
而今日之后，将会是一个全新的人生。

过去的起起落落，随着进入校园的那一刹那消失。
心平伏了，也最终做出了决定选择了
而你很清楚，这只是朝向你梦想的一个途径。
就三年。

 有了目标，有了方向，总会有到达的路。
只要紧记目标，坚持不懈。


第一次离乡背井，到离家6小时路程的地方读书，
没有家人的照顾，没有我的陪伴。
全世界，都会在担心着你吧。


这几年虽然发生很多事，但一路都还算相伴着
一时之间，我们相隔10小时车程的距离，
始终放心不下，不习惯。


一个人生活，适应环境，
对这样的公主般的你，有些难度
天天骑脚车到学校上课，背着书包，骑到离家很远的地方吃东西
我已可以想像得到你那汗流浃背，pekcek的表情.哈

非常担心，但也担心不来
你还是需要学着独立，
照顾好自己
不管是饮食健康还是起居。


在十小时路程外的我，还是会像以前一样
在遥远处看着你。
希望你一直都好好的，
也期盼听到你与我分享你的成功
加油！

承诺

妈：功课应付的liao吗？
 我：在赶着
 妈：今天事，今日毕。尤其是功课
 我：哈哈 。你儿子我几时有那么乖过
 妈：好收拾起心情了，
 我：okok 不过我很像从小到大都没做功课的 哈哈
 妈：阿爸叫你认真
 我：okok 一定一定 不用担心
我：几时让你们失望过  
妈：今天事，今日毕。尤其是功课 好收拾起心情了， 阿爸叫你认真点。
 我：可以拉 会拉


十月一日的今天，我会记得我对我父母说：
“我几时让你们失望过”


那是我对我父母的承诺。

Z & J wedding

Be the so-called "photographer" during Z&J wedding.

purposely bought the flash for the wedding, but what was sad was the new flash spoilt in that morning! Angry, it was just my two weeks new-born son, and died for no reason? I was so disappointed with the its quality, it cost me RM600.

Anyway, it was lucky that this wasn't bringing so much effect to the wedding although

the quality of the photo will be poorer compare to photo taken with external flash.

photo of Z&J taken during the wedding dinner,BCB hotel.

collages and superimposes all the photo taken in the morning using Z&J as the background of the photo.I learned this from a junior participating pgy camp.

Photo of Lim's family. this is the 101 photo of the day.

Credit to Adrian, it is hard to see the photo of camera man in the album.

Congratulate Z&J, wish they are in happiness forever. =)

Come on, study mood

Im too lazy.
Skipping lectures, never do tutorials.

Yeah, now have to taste the "fruitful result" of my laziness.
The result here is based on belt curve.
If the overall performance is good,then the marks to score an A become respectively high.
Will i be located at the bottom part of the curve?

CA of each subs is coming...
Come on, study mood~~

update

being the camera man during Merdeka Night which held by MSA NTU.

yeah, it was a precious chance for me to test my new flash, and too, a trial indoor photo taking before janice's wedding.

come on!rock it!

all the handsome taking funny photo in toilet.XP

Glaucus! my group

being able to be chosen as one of the committee in Malaysia Student Association--hall 5 hall manager. busy life is going to commence.

it is me! a big thx to yingyi. finally can find my photo inside my album.

camera man is so pity all the time~

tired

i want to settle down all the thgs

it stops me from thinking rationally

it stops me from breathing

it makes me hardly to think positively.

i'm stressed.

i'm tired.

can the time stop for a while

i need a rest.

and u

and u

will last forever in my heart

just like the scar on my eye

will with me for the rest of my life

making me never forget you

even if one day u leave my life.

fun shoot

well, week two ends.

most of u will curious about the life here, isn't it i m doing well?

overall,two weeks adapting period for myself had past. it is now catching up period.

for this sem, i have taken up 7 coarses.

math, physics, econs, computing, effective communication, english proficiency for a total of 15 au only.

as a physics student, who doesn't touch economics and computing before, it is considered quite tough for me to follow up the lecture. new subjects new terms coming, i am blurred with all those. in addition, singaporean had taken econ during their jc. u will find it, you are the only person who cant catch up during the tutorial time. hmm, have to put more effort in it.

first sem, as what seniors said, if you dont try ur best to score above 4.5 gpa in this sem, u may have less chance to score it in ur following semesters as syllabus is going tougher and tougher. first honor graduate? u cant miss any of the tests!

the pace here, undoubtedly, very fast. to be stay on track, the only thing u can do is, you must always act faster than other, No matter in what aspect. yup, never stop a second striving!

at here, you will feel it everyone is the same. because most of us getting the same result. nothing to compare, and no point for you to compare or ask for others' result as the their answers are clearly shown: string of a's.

one thing i found out recently, as two weeks studying here, i notice that everyone is emulative! they cant lose for even sports match. is that the culture here and as what ppl say "kia shu"?

i went for "fun shoot" game in this eca week which costs me $10. It is worth anyway!

My first experience of holding a rifle shooting.

for the session i joined, there were a total of 5 people including me and my friend.

one senior member and 2 indian seniors.

the first round was conducted that we were asked to shoot the particular part on the given cartoon card. in this round, i only managed to strike 2 out of 10, whereas others all were about 7 or 8 out of 10.

the feeling of losing with that huge gap was bad.

i tried to focus, the best i can, and shot at the target.

in the last round, we were asked to distinguish the flame of a candle. which means that we need to shoot at the wick of the candle. the wick is that small, what a tough task! we were given ten shoots, and what important is, i was able to distinguish the flame 9 times out of 10 shoots!!

probability of accuracy is 90% haha! horray! yup, i won the champion of that fun shoot session! XD

the guy was teaching me the basic of shooting

the prize i won as a champion XP

*************

look into the eyepiece viewer,

aim,

holding ur target tight,

keep the focusing,

the right time,

right timing,

shooT!

the steps, is the same, in life practice. keep it on =)

the planning

there is a phrase saying that "fail to plan is plan to fail".
it shows how important of the pre-planning.


although things wont turn out the way we expected.
but, with planning, we make a draft, it includes both what we want and how is the worst case will be.
with planning, you will able, at least confront with those unexpected,accidentally incident.


or perhaps, with planning all the way in time, it will train ur subconscious mind power. so that, u manage to solve all popping up problems? And too, will able to take the stress that produced by the unexpected uncertainties?


yup, it is important.
just like when u tell urself u r pretty everyday, u will finally gain ur confident and become pretty.
it is a training of subconsciousness.


the power of it is always beyond your imagination.
so, start planing and doing it, thus making it reality!


management of money, daily routine and time table, steps in achieving goal, the future, these are what in my mind and the planning is going to process

recent update

here is some update of me since i check in to NTU on 1st August.

first, thx my mum and aunt as they came along with me yesterday and helped me to shift my thgs into hostel. I m living in Hall 5 which the room is still acceptable if compare to um hostel.But overall, it is considered as "old" if compare to other halls in NTU.

let's have a look on my room

this is not supposed to be present in room photos!
but let you guys see how i "look like" one week after the robbery.

this photo was taken on bus to singapore. I =)

my room.bed is provided, it was actually dirty at the time i stepped into the room.

a cupboard is provided for each person,and this cupboard separate the area of me and my roommate.

quite like this table, because it is big enough!

Just sat for QET (qualification english test) this morning, i wrote the title of "why fast food is so famous?" just simply wrote for it. QET is a compulsory test for for stpm leavers who didnt get band 6 and at least 50 marks on writing in their MUET. According to our lovely seniors, there is some story behind the QET test.

It goes like this "if you are lucky to be chosen, then you will most probably fail in QET"

"if you are the unlucky one, then you can pass the test"

Blur? haha! chosen means ur writing is chosen to be marked. Heard that they are just randomly picking up some candidates' answer to mark. and QET is hard to pass, if u r chosen, u r failed. Then you need to take up the english module for the following semester which is a waste of time as it has a lot of assignment to be done.

I join MSA FOC(malaysia student association freshmen orientation camp) and has been distributed into group which is called GLAUCUS. To my surprise, there are 6 TARCians allocated in this group, including my classmate yingyi. wow! Tarcians rock! And two are from kluang one.

With the help of MSA seniors, i'm able to finish admin stuff on monday. With their guide, i no need worry anymore with the admission stuff. Today already start to follow my group and get to know them well during the time we have our meal together.

Can i say that i'm actually shy to interact with them? me? shy?? emmmm........perhaps i still not yet familiar with the environment.

i had attended to "professors sharing talk" just tonight. This talk was AWESOME. and the professors giving talks to us are all malaysian! cant imagine that malaysian can still hold a significant position in this challenging global.(they actually want to contribute to malaysia, but all being rejected by malaysia uni.) there are still many examples out there. Can i say i m proud to be a malaysian? will we become one of them in future? they keep emphasizing on first class honor degree graduated. is it possible to make it?cgpa of 4.5 out of 5.

many activities ahead. coming saturday will be the commencement of FOC. would be extremely tired that time. what have to do now is take enough rest and adjust back to healthy lifestyle.

The challenge begins!

一起努力！

时间过得好快,一晃，八个月的假期已过，大学生涯来临。

问我，现在的心情如何，我只想说：

“阿弥陀佛！菩萨保佑！希望我所有该带的资料都带齐。这次再度last minute的准备，希望没有什么岔！”

到新加坡升学，是我从来没有想过的事。从小，老妈子就跟我说：“以后有机会到新加坡去读书。”

而我的回应总是：“不要啦，我的英文那么差。在马来西亚就好。”

这个想法持续到中五，直到她进入了我的生活。在熏陶下，我的想法的确改变了很多。

中五，我们拿了一样的成绩。一起走出家乡，到市中心升学，一起努力，都有着各自的目标，一同追梦。

虽然间中有些岔，而现今，我们分割两处。

但不管未来是如何，地点是何初，我相信我们都能熬出一片天。记得，没有做不到的事。

别在徘徊于阑珊处

向前，总比止步好

我祝福着，也深信，那一天，我们都能一起达到梦想

一起努力！

上报!

活了二十年，曾有几度上报的经验。

多数因为成绩，活动，也曾上星洲社会万象。

但没有一次像这次一样，竟然一次过上了三份报章！

多么“光彩”！

哈哈，真的弄得我哭笑不得阿！

星洲日报！

http://www.sinchew.com.my/node/214191?tid=1

中国报！

http://www.chinapress.com.my/node/238643

光明日报！

http://www.guangming.com.my/node/109561?tid=3

部落格

部落格，对你，有什么意义？

《平凡的我》，是在2008年11月开始的。

但我第一篇网志其实是在当年的4月

为了一个女生而开，想做为她12月的生日礼物

而第一篇日志，是在07年的11月开始

当时因繁重的职务压力太大，需找个地方宣泄及督促自己

还记得黄子华栋笃笑内的一句经典

“以前只有伟人能写自传。但现在，只要你有部落格，你会上网，你就能写自传。”==

我在写着自传？哈哈

但说真的，当我迷失时，我看回我的文章，我找回了自己。

那个平凡却又不甘平凡，认为天下无难事，只怕有心人的自己

那个充满冲劲，乐天，努力的自己。

20年来的生命，平凡的我，参杂了少许的不平凡

尤其是近几年，看似大灾大难地走来

06年，话说我差点就进了鬼门关

但这些，却历练了更不一样的我，也使到我的生命更有色彩

感激这些年来生命中的过客，的确让我成长了不少。

当我看回我这几年的文章事故，我真真切切地感觉到两个字：

“成长”。

the incident

it is time to update my blog.

many people is curious about what had happened on me last few days, seem there was a serious incident i experienced.

yup, i was robbed and beaten by 2 chinese from a group of 4 people at toilet of the kota kemuning toll. Half of my face was covered by blood. And it was the first time i bled so much (perhaps i bled much more during last operation when my chest was being opened a hole to treat the pneumothorax.)

instead of saying i m the victim for this incident, i think shixue is more suitable to be described as victim.

at the time which the incident happened, she was still in the toilet. Can u imagine how is the feeling when a girl in toilet suddenly listen a loud yell and groan of her friend? she knew smth happened outside to her friend, but she didnt know what was that, and she cant help at all. At the first sight when she opened her door, what in front her was her friend with bleeding face. How terrible and scary it was? yup, she cried for hours i think, ha.

I was the one with the half face covered with blood. Let's tell you how the story is.

In simplification, we went to the toilet at the kota kemuning toll(in kesas highway). There was another car with 4 chinese came. As usual, after i done, i waited her outside the toilet. The 4guys seemed to leave the toilet with all of them get into the car and drove off. But suddenly they stopped at the opposite lane and 3 guys came out. They were pretending and approaching me. They were all chinese, i didnt worry and alert with their weird action at all. I thought they might be coming for asking way to go a place? or searching for something?

then out of sudden, 2 of them pushed me down without saying a word and start beating at me.(to be more accurate, they only beat at my face) it was only a couple seconds. after i fall down they took my phone and ran away.

that area is under the monitor of cctv. i just hope the cctv was working and the cops can arrest the criminal with the help of it.

special thanks to janice and zachary for their help to fetch me to police station and hospital. and too, fetch me home on the next day. appreciate it.

In this incident, we were considered lucky. As only one phone was snatched and i was only mildly hurt.

But, The most important thing is , she is safe!

四姑的离去

10年前，她还是位非常健康，正常的人。

还记得小时候的记忆，最疼我们的，莫过于她。

去到店里，定会买糖果给我们吃。要什么，有什么。我们生病时，更是无微不至的照顾。

她一路走来，并不容易，因为她那不负责任的丈夫。

但，一个女人，却能含辛茹苦地把两个孩子带大，成人。

他的大仔，更是何等的卓越。

她依顺孩子，满足孩子的各种需求。36孝的母亲。

母爱是何等的伟大。

和蔼，那是形容她最贴切的形容词。

从有记忆以来，我不曾看过她发脾气。

她永远用着爱的教育，来教导下一代。

面对不负责任的丈夫，她无法突破心中的那一关。

心中的精神支柱破灭，信任瓦解

她是个弱小的女人

经不住这种考验。生活上的压力，尤其是精神上的打击。

她，最终崩溃了

那日日的夜里，可能她都在寻找着答案，问着为什么

也可能是每时每刻

成日解不开的结，开始扰乱着思绪。

日久，成病。

病魔的折磨了她有近十年。

我很清楚的记着在她身上每个变化

她的身子，也很清楚的露出被病魔折磨的痕迹。

从无法入眠，到手脚开始无力，走路开始颤抖，

最终无法正常地进行着正常人的生活，作息

进食变得更少，

少活动后的肌肉开始慢慢的萎缩

她原是个正常的妇女，当却经病魔的痛虐，一下老了十年

身子渐瘦，到最终无法走路，卧病在床

她的病情，没有好转的迹象过

由于需要特别的照料，她进了养老院。

可能在那的时光，她还在找着答案，问着为什么。

直到在世的最后一秒。

丈夫的背叛，让她得了忧郁症。

那是何等的可怕，折磨着一个健康的人，到人生尽头。

爸爸下午还到医院去看她。

刚接到电话，她已离开人世。

离去

对她，是否是种解脱？

在某个程度上，或许吧。

四姑，想对你说，你将永远活在我们心中！

愿你安息。

一路，走好！

to do list

two weeks to go:

to do list:

terrengganu trip?in consideration

student pass on 17th

study loan on 24th

keep my stuff which going to new place with me

outing of us

year end camp

pgy new member nomination letter

the result is out

TAHNIAH!

Anda telah berjaya ditawarkan program pengajian seperti berikut:


KOD : KK08
NAMA PROGRAM : IJAZAH SARJANAMUDA KEJURUTERAAN DENGAN KEPUJIAN (MEKANIKAL)
IPTA : UNIVERSITI KEBANGSAAN MALAYSIA (UKM)
SURAT TAWARAN : http://www.ukm.my/kemasukan/tawaran
(Klik URL SURAT TAWARAN di atas untuk mendapatkan Surat Tawaran IPTA)
CATATAN :
1) Calon boleh mencapai Surat Tawaran melalui laman web IPTA mulai 16 Julai 2011.
2) Calon WAJIB mengesahkan SETUJU TERIMA TAWARAN pada atau sebelum 30 Julai 2011.

15th July, it is what a important date to all 2010 stpm candidates who desire to get an "entrance ticket" from local university.

ya, is today, the upu result is released.

i get my third choice which is Mech Eng instead of my 1st & 2nd choices which are Chem Eng and ME in um.

the result still considers ok, as ME is also the coarse i want to study, doesnt matter which uni it is. but for sure, i will head for better offer.

admission to local uni is always a controversial issue in malaysia whenever the quota and matric system are still exist. Stpm candidates are still treated unfair in most of the case. A bio student with cgpa 3.++ being offered engineering coarse in uni? it is ridiculous! aint there else more suitable bio coarse to be offered?

it is a happy day for those who are lucky enough to get what they want. congratulation to them too.

it is a sad day for those who desire to be offered a seat in uni, but being rejected. and also for those who are unsuccessfully in getting their desired coarse and uni.

in my case, my friends those who are given their desired coarse from local uni are them who already start their uni life in other private uni or those who got better offer from else place.

but for my friends those who are only waiting for local uni, desire and hope to get an acceptable offer from any local uni, fail in their application. it is what a sad event. I cant do anything beside giving accompany.

is this date decide and fix how is the future of a person? no! there are still a lot of variables ahead! so, please dont give up easily! who knows you can prove to others one day that you have achieved your dream even your path getting to ur dream is tougher. challenging path make ur life colourful and meaningful. there is too a phrase saying that: the imperfections make things perfect. perhaps ur greatest change and improvement in ur life is from this critical period?

who know.

Just always bear in mind that dont pass ur life in passive way when u meet failure in ur life. who never fail since born?

I bless all my friends. i cant know how is the next second, what is the next plan would be, but i just hope that it is all going smooth and fine for u all.

too, to my juniors who are studying stpm now, few months left over, it is the "golden period" for you all. Dont waste time anymore. not to give u all any pressure, but it is indeed what you have to do now. it is also a fate of a stpm student. you can no need to do so, if and only if you want to receive ur result with disappointment, sadness and regrets. fight for ur own glory ! good luck.

if you have a dream, the way wouldnt be too far for you.

一通电话

今日接到一通电话，是来自tarc spus office.

熟悉的声音，一听就知道是那平时联系我们的书记。

她通知我说已经可以到拉曼索起我们正版的stpm文凭，要我顺便联络其他人。

这不是重点，重点是我们的谈话内容~

书记：“你最近很birthday hor?"(听不清楚)

我：“birthday ?什么？”

她：“birthday ah~~”

我：“birthday ?生日?"

她：“b-e-r-s-i-h~~干净~~你最近很bersih~”

我：“哦~还好啦~做么？”

她：“没有啦，看你最近很像很激动下，FB又post那么多东西。”

我：“就在FB罢了啦~不过我没到场参加游行啦,人在柔佛。”

她：“哦，还以为你有去游行。你的senior有的比你更激动。还是小心点好啦”

引述这段话，其实只是觉得有点奇怪。

当她说“你最近很bersih~”，就有种莫名的感觉。干嘛？说“bersih”好像中间带点讽刺的味道？

可能，她还不太了解bersih是什么，净选盟的诉求又是什么。

bersih主要是向政府表态要一个干净又公平的选举制度。

而和平游行与集会，只是一个让政府正视人民声音的一个管道。

这是一个和平的集会，和平的游行，和平的诉求。

是一个民主国家人民希望政府正视人民声音的一个游行。

我在FB post 的东西，没有极端与激动的成份在内。

就如：

“似乎全马警方动员在马来西亚各处设置路障，制止709集会的进行​。到今日才知道大马警方原来那么有效力，那么认真地工作。可能这​是一个好的开始，希望今日后，大马警方能够用同样的效率进行每项​任务。包括大马的安全问题，经常发生的掠夺案，抢劫，贪污，盗版​，扫毒等等”

那些照片影片，证明了当日的情况。警方如何对待和平游行者。

如何大费周章的出动“镇暴部队”，用上催泪弹及水车，来驱赶手无寸铁关心民主的人民

那些照片与影片，也推翻了近日一个个政治领袖的言论与谎言。

也可见得近日许多领袖们都在找台下。

引用一段在场参与游行者的话：

制造骚乱的不是高度自治的集会群众，而是一枚又一枚的催泪弹、一波又一波的化学水炮。

关心国家政治，实事与民主，是身为国民应具有的责任。但似乎许多人都患上政治敏感，对政治民主避而远之。我虽还入世未深，还不太了解民主与政治。但我至少还能辨别是非，看到政治人物言论的矛盾，警察处理的态度与他们的“中立”立场。

期许，目标

在这阶段性的人生，每个阶段，有着对自己不同的期许及目标。

从发育期开始，也就是中学时段，随着思维的转变与渐成熟，慢慢会对自己开始有了期盼。在过程中探索，寻找自己，为自己设立了目标。

常在辩论题目中出现的题目“过程还是结果重要？”

对我，设立目标只是让自己的人生过程过得更精彩，过程还是比较重要。

就有如我此部落的名称“《平凡的我》---我想要平凡，却又不甘平凡。 平凡的我，却想要过不平凡的生活。”

期许，目标，过程，结果

在现在半夜三更的懵懂时刻，我只想到了这4个词。

期许：自我认识的最基本。在探索与标签自己的能力时，所给于自己最初所认为能达到的另一个进步的自己

目标：为自己的生活与过程所设定的一个方向。另意指所想创造与达到的自己。期许的最顶点。我通常会把目标设到很高，只是想挑战自己在达到所期许的之后，继续前进。一个没有目标的活动，其实等于白办，为办而办，没有了意义。一个没有目标的人生，也等于白活，为活而活，没有意义的活着。

过程：在朝向目标时，自我的认识，增值与磨练实践。过程往往考验你踏出的第一步，间中曲折道路中所做出的判断与决定，跌倒后再站起来的精神。所有朝向目标的一切的考验与改变，那就是过程。有人说，第一步永远是最难踏出的。有些人在还没尝试就打退堂鼓。过程中崎岖的行道，需要阿杜的歌“坚持到底”。

结果：过程后的收获。自我的肯定与自信心的来源。当然，是当你达到目标后。达不到目标，不用怀疑，一定是你自身的问题。尝试逃避失败根源与寻找借口，绝不是一个成功者所为，这也是达不到目标的原因。失败后，承认错误，认真探讨，再重新出发。结果之所以重要，因为他确定过程的完整性。

*****

我过了两个人生阶段。

这两个我开始设定目标的阶段分别是中学生涯及离开家乡到吉隆坡就读的中六生涯

不同的阶段，设定了不同的目标。有了不同的期许，目标，过程及结果。

而从这两个阶段，也发觉了我的思维的转换及成长。

很庆幸，在这两个阶段当中，我大致上算是达到了我设定的目标。

中学时期，自己无意间说出的一段话或可以说是一个承诺，成为了我的目标。或是说我在达到目标后，才发现我曾经做过这承诺。

“我不是最帅的，但我要在学业团体中成为最帅的那一位。”

中六时期的目标，是在当时一同努力的伴侣熏陶下设定了。

完成了两个阶段的两个目标，将步入人生第三个阶段。

是时候为自己设定人生第三个目标。

人活在这世间没多少年，所以我将每个阶段的目标都称之为人生目标。

人生短短几年，有意义的活着，精彩的活着！

曾经收过一张纸条写着：从中学与你合作以来，你一直都很努力，直到现在都一样。

我希望我真的有努力过。在人生道路上，无论是学业活动或感情上，我不想再留遗憾。

加油，加油，再加油！

努力，努力，再努力！

change

change, changing.

it is just easy.

two options

either positive or negative change only

make a chance

make a different

它

它

原是我人生第一次工作想奖励自己的一个礼物

却在2009年，被一个人顽皮的，惊喜的送了给我当了我18岁的生日礼物

那礼物纸都还收着，只可惜当时相机遗失了，18岁的生日照片也没了。

它

是我第一副开始戴上的眼镜

非常幸运的它，在千百副眼镜中脱颖而出

能被当时陪伴我的那人选中，被我佩戴至今

从此，我也对此风格此类型的它，情有独钟

无论是出门，旅游，活动，营会，上学

我都带着它和它

它，或许是我的百宝袋，次次都装满我整副身家

它，或许是魔术透明镜，自从戴上它以后，视野开阔了，人也成熟了不少

这是在前往北马的巴士上拍的照片

当一个人旅行,它和它，将是很好的“到此一游”的见证

也是生活中的各个的“到此一游”的见证

无论前方的道路多迷蒙

将带着它与它一路伴随

End of 3 idiots' trip

the photo i like the most.

so miss that time when we three idiots gathered together.

after this trip,

one will go to Canada,

one will go to Germany,

one will go to Singapore to pursue their degree in engineering.

let's gather again 7 years after, and that time,start another three engineers' trip =)
Eugene Leem & Chong LeongYik

做不成男女朋友、做个特别的朋友

两个可能彼此相爱、喜欢的人，
但是，又不属于友情、爱情、亲情中的任何一种，
彼此不能成为男女朋友，只能做个特别的朋友……
也许是为了朋友之间的义气，不能归属。
也许是为了顾及家人的意见，不能归位。
也许是为了自己的前程，不能承诺。
也许是相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。
也许是相遇太晚，彼此身边已经有了另一个人。
也许是回头太迟，对方已不再等待。
也许彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线……
不过即使没在一起，
彼此仍能找到塌实的感觉，
仍然会保持不隶属任何一种感情的关系。
但是彼此心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。
因为有了彼此，心里总是被幸福塞的满满的……
即使不能彼此名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。
彼此有喜欢的人，口头上会说不吃醋，
心里却会觉得胃疼……
对方遇到困难时，
会尽全力伸出援助之手，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。
对方生病了，
会缴尽脑汁找药方，
恨不得变成护士，陪伴在身旁……
每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。
一开始可能不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。
宁愿这样关心对方的心情，
总好过彼此生活在一起受伤害……
做不成男女朋友，
当个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？
你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢
很多的感情，
都败在了现实的面前……
友情可以演变成为爱情，
爱情最终进化成为亲情，
彼此就将友情直接进步到亲情……
人生不过百年……
能牵手的时候，请别只是肩并肩，
能拥抱的时候，请别只是手牵手，
能在一起的时候，请别轻易分开，
能成为红颜知己，请别刻意离开！
珍惜彼此之间塌实的感觉


转自
未知资源

get back on track!

feel lazy this few days.

even bursary for ntu also lazy to apply, lazy to post my documents to them.

i know i miss it again.

feel lose an opportunity,even though i know i wouldnt be the chosen one if i send.

a good partner is indeed needed. especially for me who is so lazy to read the handbook given word by word, page by page.

and, different thing need to be done at different period.. omg.........

can some one do it for me ??or can let me refer to ? or can remind me from time to time? it is troubling me..

hope everything regarding admission to ntu run smooth..=(

about 8 months of holidays, and eight months too i din touch book.

stpm syllabus for most subjects had been forgotten i think.

and, my suck daily routine would affect my performance if it goes on.

hey, uni life going to start ok ! what am i doing ?!

feel like want blogging,

for some posts which i havent update yet

that's what in my mind:

singapore trip, view on the fire occurring in paloh.

pls, dont be lazy anymore....

get back on track!

巴罗火灾

大清早，被弟弟吵醒：“起来了，快去店帮忙搬东西，街上着火”

接着，一通来自爸爸的电话：“快下来店搬东西！火灾！”

懵懵懂懂的状态下起身，以为只是小火，不碍事，刷了牙，出门去。

在家门外，回望，竟从我家能看到那团浓烟！

“惨！这火不小！到底烧到哪里？我店有没遭殃？！”

拿了相机，直奔店里方向。

到了街上，已围满了群众，大火正吞噬着马银行旁的四间店屋。

我店里个个非常紧张，尤其是爸爸，一旦大火烧来，我们家的经济来源，及他十年的心血将化为乌有。

火灾区隔条街，我家庭就有三间店在那，伯伯叔叔的。孰不紧张不担心？

该帮的都已帮了。拿起相机，充当战地记者。观察及体会灾难时，本乡的危机应变能力、效力与处理方式。

跟着相机内设有的照片时间，重组了我到后，整个火灾过程。

火灾发生时间估计是10时20分，起源听闻是水果档楼上，还待证实。

时间是10:51，大火吞噬着第五间店屋

时间是10:51，巴罗消防车抵达，开始灭火。

疑是设备没检查好，间中发生了小意外。pipe头脱落，水pipe冲力太大导致乱飞乱喷，消防队员都被喷湿，猛抓水喉.

大火丝毫没有减缓的现象，继续迅速蔓延。自愿队用硬物掷碎店屋窗口，以便能让水射入屋内灭火。

时间是1054，围观群众越来越多

时间是10:58,从我店前能看到非常吓人的浓烟

时间是11:03。短短的十分钟，大火已蔓延至最后一间店屋！

时间是11:04, 估计是居銮的消防员正准备着救火

时间是11:09,店屋前方3支水喉在灌着水。火势还是不受控制。

时间是11:11，见大火已不受控制，迅速把货物搬离我家的衣服店。多谢多位善心人的帮忙，才能在短时间内搬离所有货物。大火与衣服店只有一个小巷隔着。

时间是11:14,自愿队开始帮忙封锁场地，也见到警察前来维持秩序。

时间是11:16，另一辆消防车抵达

时间是11:18,火势开始又变猛。左边那件就是我家的衣服店，只是一个小巷的距离。

时间是11:19, 妈妈（最右边）与其中一间店主(福成爸爸)了解情况，他们看着多年的心血，化为乌有，泪夺眶而出，但却无能为力。

时间是11:26,火势还在蔓延着，头两间店屋严重被烧毁。所幸银行没被殃及

时间是11:41,乌云密布，像是同情着这场大火。群众因为细雨，渐渐离去

时间是11:51，火势看似被控制，二伯与三伯在讨论着

时间是11:52,在往其中一间店屋内注水，希望能控制火势，减少的损失。但还是失败。至少控制了大火。

大约12时，雨渐大，人群也疏散了。看见火势最终受控制。我也回家去。

身在灾区现场，感触良多。但许多技术上的救灾问题，也不愿多予置评。

至少大家都很努力地在帮忙灭火，尽力了。

特意列明事情演变的时间是有目的的。

救灾，刻不容缓。

一份一秒都非常重要。

大火只用了10分钟，就能吞并9间店屋。诺救火车没在最短的时间内到，后果会如何？

巴罗的乡民还需要更多的灾难警觉意识。

假设火灾是在10时半发生，目击者在第一时间需要通知联络的是谁？

在场者第一件要做的事是什么？

警察，消防自愿队员，和自愿队是否有足够的警觉意识？一听到消息，在不拖延时间的情况下马上整队，分配，了解岗位，进行救灾？

是否进行救灾的所有参与的部署，都有个指挥官，进行所有在场的指挥？以便场面不混乱？

最重要的是所有救灾部署的速度要快

ps：有点不爽这曾经的一名地方领袖。当大家在从衣服店搬东西出去时，

他突然出现：“不用搬，不用搬！大火不会烧到这里！”

大火能在十分钟内蔓延到9间店，这惊人的速度，连我都难以相信。还有什么不可能的？

要是万一我们东西没搬，火真的烧上来怎办？谁来负责赔偿那损失？

是否是那用安抚口气来给于劝告的前地方领袖？

政治人物的常态：打狂语，缺乏警觉性，事后逃避责任

（我是说常态，而不是说所有）

*all the photos had been uploaded to my facebook

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2248655338624.2133656.1315419347

and because of this, i need to change my privacy setting.

this is to the ease of people who want view the photos but not my fb friend.

hope they wont pollute my FB with those negative and dirty comments.

three idiots! XD

three idiots were conducting group conference call using "oovoo"!(first time heard this software, as free version skype cant perform a group video call.) discussing our trip to singapore!

eugene, leongyik and me

and we are going to have a three days visit to singapore.

yeah, singapore again~

and this time , universal studio is waiting for our appearance XD

(hopefully that day wouldn't be a raining day)

For Kedah + P.pinang trip, perhaps as a farewell for jinxiang, as he is going to India for his medicine coarse with JPA scholarship in this july.

this time? perhaps as a farewell for leongyik, JPA holder too who is going to Canada for his engineering coarse in August.

Eugene? two years after will fly to Germany with JPA.

(perhaps this gathering is also farewell for me too?wahaha)

Three idiots, three future engineers,taking up their bags, going to meet and start their trip in singapore soon!

yeah~!

涟漪

**当冬夜渐暖 **

很多事情 不是谁说了就算

即使伤心 结果还是自己担

多少次失望表示着多少次期盼
事实证明 幸福很难

当冬夜渐暖 当大海也不再那么蓝
当月色的纯白变得阴暗
那只是代表快乐不再那么简单

当冬夜渐暖 当青春也都烟消云散
当美丽的故事都有遗憾
那只是习惯把爱当作喜欢
重要的是 我们如何爱过那一段

每当收到妳的信息，你的更新，或是从别人部落里看到你的名字出现，心中必泛起一阵涟漪。

每一个不懂爱的人都会遇到一个懂爱的人、

然后经历一场撕心裂肺的爱情。

不懂爱的人慢慢懂了。

懂爱的人、

却不敢再爱了

a new life going to begin

finally received the package from ntu.

fainted.

lots of things need to be done~

*online declaration & submission of photography

*health information

*network account

*hostel accomodation

*financial assistance scheme.

*student's pass application

*online provide passport details

*provide arrival online

*matriculate online

*authorisation form of medical procedures / appointment of local guardian form

and it is all have to be done at separate periods.

argh!! i need to do a new schedule for myself! i need to have a new to-do list according to the date given.

but , i am too lazy to do all these.

perhaps, i need a private secretary ? haha XD

two ex-classmates from TARC got the offer from ntu too. ying yi and angeline.

congratulation to angeline, as she is going with ASEAN scholarship.

meet them soon in August.

Life in new environment is going to start.

i still haven't prepare for it, both physically and mentally.

i'm still in playing mode and with a bad routine life.

when will i adjust back?

cant imagine how is the life there?

what will happen in there?

what would have change in me in order to adapt to the life there?

how would i interact with people from other countries?

korean? japanese? chinese? danish.........?

excited to know people from different countries different cultures~

but the first thing i have to cope with-- a good proficiency in english.

english, the key to the world.

there is still a month for me to improve my poor speaking skill. I cant waste it anymore.

a new life going to begin

new challenges ahead

but i know, i can enjoy in it and face all the challenges

nothing is going to defeat me.

i believe i can make it

as she said, i always make it.

北马游结束

终于，结束了5天的北马游，回到了家。

总结一下此次的行程

paloh@kuala lumpur@alor setar(kedah)@sungai petani (kedah)@pulao pinang@tanjung sepat@BTS@ PALOH

这次的行程，除了吃，还是吃。

算是已经吃了亚罗士打及槟城主要美食了，一句话：赞！

特别鸣谢

＊＊祖涵--在亚罗士打提供的住宿，及成为我们亚罗士打及槟城的导游，专车带我们吃遍好料

＊＊锦祥--成为我们的专署摄影师，司机及提供亚罗士打好料名单

＊＊志祥--成为被我们洗的对象，笑话与气氛的来源。

＊＊威祥--邀我参与这次的疯狂北马游

＊＊北马蒲公英工委--一同出来喝茶聚会

＊＊民彰民彬--提供我们在TS的住宿

＊＊TS工委--一同出来喝茶聚会，及再度的招待

＊＊TS出来聚会喝茶的营员

蒲公英。稻田。米都亚罗士打。流星花园。XD

槟城海边＋阳光型男XD

丹戎士拔美丽海景

又有一堆的照片等着上载

稻香、美食、海景

最爱的搭配

生命中又多了个美丽的回忆

＠可惜的是我的DSLR 1855len不知何故途中发生故障，准备进厂

5800手机，在一个突如其来的大雨中，竟被我掉在地上，享受了近３０分钟的大雨。直到雨停了我才发觉它在马路的水泊中泡着泉==

两样都是新买的！心痛！